I’m Dreaming of a Quiet Christmas: Top Netflix Shows to Watch While Disassociating From Your Family

Being around your family is great….until it isn’t. For me, this fine line is crossed after approximately 48 hours together, or when my mom has had 3 glasses of wine and starts asking invasive personal questions about my life.

How do you survive when your flight is booked 3 days from now? Distract yourself with one of these Netflix offerings.

5. Friends (Season 1-10)

i'm fine

Friends, aka white-people catnip in footage form. Sure, you’ve seen every episode and can identify a quote a mile away. Fuck, you may actually hate this show, but it is still absolutely better than spending “quality time” with your family who has brought up the fact you’ve gained 5 pounds since they last saw you.

10 seasons of mind-numbing laugh tracks and ill-aged jokes can help tune out the general mediocrity and dysfunction happening around you. BONUS: turn it into a drinking game, that way you can black out of family obligations and having to watch this goddamn TV show.

4. Chilling Adventures of Sabrina (Season 2, 2019)


As Blink-182 once said, “we can have Halloween on Christmas“, and move over baby Jesus, Mark Hoppus is our emo lord and savior. Get real spooky and prepare for the brand new season of the Chilling Adventures of Sabrina being released January 24th, with seasons 1 and 2.

A hot take on your favorite witch growing up, this re-envisioning is dark and addicting. Watch Sabrina battle demons, battle Satan, and get it on with various hot, scantily clad men that were not what the pimple-faced boys from your high school looked like. Do I want to binge watch this show, or just be her? The jury’s out.

3. Grease (1978)


Ok, so your family’s annoying, but know what’ more annoying? You throwing a one person sing-a-long.

Wage the war on Christmas joy this year by singing off-tune to one of the most well-known (and worst) musicals of all time. You honestly don’t even need to put yourself through the borderline torture of watching this musical, just start singing anytime your family asks a question you don’t feel like answering. “How’s school going?”– Beauty school dropout, no graduation day for you….

2. Don’t Fuck With Cats (2019)


Just as a fair warning, this documentary has graphic content and is one of the most disturbing things I have watched in 2019, which means the fact that I would rather sink 4 hours of my life into re-watching it than associating with my family means a lot.

Detailing the gruesome murder of kittens, which evolves into the gruesome killing of a human being, this show is both very serious and very surreal. If you watch it the whole way through, you may have a deep mistrust of every man you’ll ever meet, but at least you’ll have a rebuttal for when your family asks why you spend so much time on the internet.

1. You (Season 2, 2019)


If you never watched You season one, drop what you’re doing and watch it now- it’s required viewing for anyone who uses the internet to date. Focusing around a woman and her stalker who uses his power of “observation” and lack of empathy, remorse, or respect for the sanctity of human life to make her fall in love with him, this story will have you laugh, cry, and even root for the bad guy.

Season 2 releases December 26th at midnight, which is is basically Netflix’s Christmas present to everyone who is stuck in their family home that wishes North Korea would have given the US a “special treat”.  Enjoy a full binge of creepiness, misogyny, and most likely murder!

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