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I’m pretty sure i levitated. It was an unending orgasm…This time, my soul left me, and god himself said “child, it is not your time, go back to the lil pink light.” (Mind you, im agnostic.)…I’m brought back into my earthly body after managing to pull it off me throwing it across my bed, it falls to the floor, still buzzing happily away.”
This was my first introduction to Tracy’s Dog Clitoral Sucking Vibrator, and it set my expectations high. Like, really fucking high. I was approached by the company to receive a free toy to review and eagerly agreed– in fact, it only took 2 days to get to my apartment, but I was more excited than a kid at Christmas when it came.
I cancelled all my plans that Saturday afternoon and put my phone on do not disturb, fully ready to dissolve into a pool of orgasmic mush. The reviews recommended stocking up on Gatorade like a professional athlete and man did it feel like I was getting ready to step up into the big leagues.
I’m no stranger to clit sucking toys, but I had never used one that was also an insertion device, so getting everything in place to make sure it felt right was a bit of a process that made me feel like I should apologize to every man I’ve ever made fun of that couldn’t locate a clit (pro tip: use a mirror). The insertion part of the toy was almost perfectly sized for me– easy to insert, but large enough to know it’s there, because sometimes size truly doesn’t matter, and I don’t need a drawer full of 12″ rubber cocks taking up valuable apartment storage space.
Once it’s in I just had to sit back and wait….and I didn’t have to wait long. In fact, I waited 5 minutes and 37 seconds because I timed it in the name of science. I would rate the first orgasm a 7.5, which is approximately the equivalent feeling of someone handing you their credit card at Nordstrom and saying “go crazy”.
Exactly 3 minutes and 28 seconds later, I had another one clocking in on the 9.8 Richter Scale, which is the moment I understood all the hype because it literally felt like my pussy had been blessed by God himself. The sky was bluer, water tasted better, I understood what love songs were being written about. In fact I’m confident if all world leaders were women and used this vibrator that there would undoubtedly be world peace. This vibrator literally made me feel like a better person.
Overall, I wouldn’t call this a beginner’s toy because there is some placement trial and error, but if you’re looking for the gift that keeps on coming (pun intended) definitely give this one a go.
Vibrator available on Amazon or Tracy’s Dog. Use promo code “TRACYYOU20” for 20% off any Christmas order.
Thot Pieces 